I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
