i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize