even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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