i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
