areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
