UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
