Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
