Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
