So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
even my farts smell like vagina
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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