so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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