Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
