All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize