how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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