So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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