jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
