His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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