I faked an abortion last night.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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