so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
