eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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