yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
