Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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