Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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