he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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