gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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