My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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