why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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