Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
