Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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