Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed

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(336): View more from North Carolina

She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?

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(678): View more from Georgia

she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE

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(312): View more from Illinois

Are you in a cab?

(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at

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(775): View more from Nevada

are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise

(702): View more from Nevada

I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise

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(305): View more from Florida

I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.

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