Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
