Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
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Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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