honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
