i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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