I am in a vortex of obligation.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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