Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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