Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize