the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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