At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
