We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
