You just made me feel so damn special
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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