I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
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It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
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No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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