she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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