A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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