return my video game
Nicole vs. Life
You smell like a Billy Joel song
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
