All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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