I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
