i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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