I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
