Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize