Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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