It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
