Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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