in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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